I write this article where I expand more the concept of value and calibrating value in a relationship with a female.
The concept of value in a relationship is the same like the concept of value in the commercial world with the big difference that in the case of an emotional and sexual relationship with a woman it is connected with the deeper instincts of evolution and replicating.
For example in a situation of war the fact that you are a skilled warrior and have big muscles is for sure of very important replicating and evolutionary value for her (it helps her to survive).
Instead a very ugly, short and fat guy may have for her – and surely has – a very important evolutionary and replicating value if he has a lot of money if she is planning to make a family and have children.
It is also a very fluctuable concept: if you are in a modern environment your Ferrari surely has a very important value in her eyes for the choice of a mate but it is totally worthless for her if you are in a desert without water and what she values then is getting a chance to satisfy thirsty.
To understand the concept of value in a relationship you need to see it as a process.
What she values now may be totally different than what she values later on.
This is for example evident when women remain at home from work in modern “politically correct” countries and get money from the social security.
In that stage of their life they may very much value a fat, short guy without pick-up and seduction skills who makes decent money instead of the good looking “bad boy” who makes them tickle.
Then when they gets back to work after having been 3-4 years at home taking care of the children while he pays the bills they may – either consciously or unconsciously – try to feel that their hubby has no value anymore in spite of all his money and start to feel attraction for the bad boy.
That is perfectly in line with what biology and evolution look for: spreading different genes in as many different directions as possible.
Being boyfriend/girlfriend or being married and exclusive are social constructs. Agreements. Not what Nature’s target really is.
So to keep attraction on in a relationship you have to calibrate value.
This is very difficult because a female active tendency to betaise you is always a direct attempt to lower your value. The purpose of her betaising attempts is to lower your value in a relationship to access your resources and make sure you will be loyal to her along the pregnancy and the first years of the child bearing.
So to calibrate value in a relationship with a woman you need to counter act her active betaising attempt. At the same time you need to be careful of not putting her “too much” down otherwise you will cause big problems to her self-esteem.
Examples of calibrating value in a relationship:
She lowers your value by flirting with another guy in front of your eyes.
You shout to her and maybe become violent: that is a miscalibration. Whatever the outcome is you will put her too much down and the relationship will get bad. Also you will surely incur into legal problems and maybe get jailed.
Instead a proper way of reacting to it is to wait a week and show her how you can flirt with another woman in front of her eyes or even use rich descriptions to simply describe verbally – without even relly flirting – a situation where you are being liked a lot by other women.
That is fair and proper calibration. You also have to promptly stop doing this as soon as she starts to show respect again. Doing it too much would be another miscalibration.
As a man you are – especially if she is pregnant and having little children – in a position of power. So you have to use that power but not “too much” otherwise you are putting her down and badly miscalibrating.
She lowers your value by comparing your economical achievements to the economical achievements of other guys.
This is a bad one: there will always be someone richer than you.
Telling her straight to her face that she is a bitch and a prostitute in her nature will only show weakness and put her too much down. Women do these things out of instinct (well some of them in purpose but that is a smaller group).
Instead telling her: “I am sure that one day you will have a lot of money on your bank account” gives her an indirect message of how silly she is being with her manipulation attempt and puts her in her place without putting her too much down.
The use of positive frames is extremely powerful in calibrating value.
For example :
HB:”I had a wonderful ride on this guy’s Ferrari, he is a very skilled driver.
Franco: “I am happy for you. I am sure one day you will have your own Ferrari and that wonderful villa in Miami you have been dreaming of.
Then after a week :
Franco:” By the way: I had a lot of work today. I just hired a couple of new secretaries; one Maria is 18 and just started her career. She looks and acts gorgeous but it will be a hell of a job to train her..
HB: “Hmm.. I hope you don’t find her too gorgeous and keep your hands off her..
Franco: “Are you kidding me baby? It is wonderful for the image of the Company to have new gorgeous secretaries.
See guys? Some examples of calibrating value in a relationship with a woman.
Put your energy into business, pick-up, and seduction and never enter a relationship where you are being made weaker!
To be able to understand the right way of calibrating value in a relationship with a woman is a very important skill.
If you are a single man willing to seduce women to get a wonderful girlfriend.
Or a husband willing to make his own wife happy in the relationship.
Or a playboy willing to have a lot of fun.